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Published on May 17th, 2013 | by Brent Chittenden

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Top Ten Worst Bands Of The 90s

By Brent Chittenden

Rolling Stone recently did a poll where they named their readers listed the worst bands of the 90’s and quite frankly… what were these readers smoking?

Dave Mathews Band? Nirvana? I’m not huge fans of either but I thought to myself “There has to be worse out there than these guys…. isn’t there?” This set me upon my quest for the week. Using the internet, facebook and a number of class mates from Bradford District High School’s graduating classes of 97, 98, and 99, I put together a much worse list of bands. There are a few duplications (there is some crap that is bound to make everyone’s list) but on a whole, I think I dredged a little deeper into the bowels of the 90’s to give you a true Top Ten Worst Bands Of The 90’s.

10) Crazy Town

The closing days of the 90’s gave us possibly one of the worst rap / metal… things. Crazy Town were annoying, not particularly talented or original, they kind of sounded like the stupid love child of a drunk boinking between Limp Bizkit and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Yet despite their obvious suckage, they somehow managed to sell 2.5 MILLION copies of their debut album The Gift of Game.

9) Serial Joe

To be fair, I doubt Rolling Stone readers have any idea who this band was as they were kind of popular in Canada for about fifteen minutes. What I remember the most was the fact most critics focused on their ages (I think the oldest member was 16 or something) and for whatever reason, this seemed to give them a pass with reviewers. I’m sorry, the music was generally crap.

8) Blind Melon

This is the one I might get in a trouble for. I think sometimes the tragic death of a band member colours our perceptions of them. Don’t get me wrong, all were decent players but it just seemed like they were an above average band that was pretty much slumming it with crappy music.

7) Ace of Base

I am of the opinion that Ace of Base is part of Sweden’s reboot of what I call The Abba Project. In a nutshell, it’s my theory that Sweden tries to lull the rest of the world in to a sense of false security with crappy dance music. Abba was the first try and it but when that version failed for unknown reasons, the Swedes went back to the board and tried again with much less success with this drek.

6) Vengaboys

 If I have to explain to you why this is bad, you probably should be reading the rest of this list. They are from Holland. Yes, are. Despite their discography of awful, they are still around.

5) The Presidents of the United States of America

Remember that crappy band you watched in high school? They were made up of those three weirdos from music class and their instruments were kind of second hand and slightly busted. Now imagine these same guys ten or fifteen years after high school but instead of getting better like say a band like Ween, they just continued to play crappy music that was only catchy due it being weird and in reality it wasn’t very good. That is the Presidents. They suck.

4) Methods of Mayhem

Their first album came out in December of 1999 which combined hip-hop, metal and nu-metal into a big steaming pile of garbage. All of the reviews I could find on this craptcaular experiment from Tommy Lee were very middle of the road… I’ll assume because they thought Tommy Lee might punch them.

3) Kid Rock

This is sort of a technicality but it’s got merit so stick with me. I think Kid Rock’s 98 breakthrough album Devil Without A Cause is decent for what it was. I also think Kid Rock is a talented guy. Unfortunately for us, Only God Knows Why became a massive hit and thus ended up shaping his career from then on with terrible album after terrible album that people are still buying. So while I think his 90’s output was alright, the massive spill off from it of just plain bad albums makes him show up at number three.

2) Limp Bizkit

URGH. Where to start. Limp Bizkit features some smart minds and a few good musicians, musically, they aren’t bad for what they are (and let’s face it, Wes Borland is a solid guitarist) but then lyrics are delivered… and they sound like they were written by the guy who laughs at his own farts but can still kind of rap… not very well mind you but he can find words that rhyme… sort of… see theabove vidvideo fNookie. Anyhoo the band also ushered in a deluge of similar nu-metal and rap metal bands which just clogged music up for a few months with just bad stuff. Papa Roach, Staind, I’m looking in your general direction. All of this adds up to Limp Bizkit being number two on our list.

1) Creed

You knew it was coming and true, Creed are in the same spot as the Rolling Stone list but here’s the entire reason I’ve put them on the list.

They are the only band I’ve ever heard of that got sued because they sucked.

By their own fans.

True story, a small group of fans filed a lawsuit against Creed due to the band being terrible during a live gig. And this wasn’t some frivolous multi million dollar lawsuit, these guys just wanted their ticket’s refunded and gas money.

As a side note, Kid Rock has stated a few times that the only thing he really regrets is the fact that he appears in a groupie sex tape alongside Scott Stapp.

That kind of says something doesn’t it?

On a whole, Creed are also responsible for opening the door for a ton of other like minded poop stains like everyone’s favourite, Nickleback.

 

So now it’s your turn, who should have been on this list? Who did I miss? Who did I put on this list who doesn’t deserve my awful treatment of them? Please, let’s start the discussion in the comment section below.





About the Author

Brent Chittenden is a freelance writer with a gift for the geek. Currently a writer with A Journal Of Musical Things and a podcaster with True North Nerds, he's also written for Comic Book Daily, Explore Music and a dozen other places. Currently, he is the co-host of the True North Nerds podcast. You can find out more at www.facebook.com/bcchittenden


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16 Responses to Top Ten Worst Bands Of The 90s

  1. Lex says:

    Personally I don't think PUSA should be on there, I still jam their stuff now and then. Who I think should have replaced them is Sugar Ray. Started out as a solid punk/metal act then quickly became yet another watered-down pop rock act.

  2. Rob says:

    I like most of your list, but yes, I will take issue with Blind Melon. Don't forget about Soup. That was an outstanding album.
    http://soundinmymemory.com/?p=4716

  3. iamsuperdan says:

    This list is pretty much perfect.

    Totally agree with the addition of Sugar Ray. Their pre-Fly music was solid. The Fly came out, and the became a vaginized parody of a rock band.

  4. Tim McMullen says:

    Blind Melon on a list that includes Crazy Town and Ace of Base? I agree with Rob's mention of Soup. IMO it's a brilliant album and one of the better efforts of the 90's. "Toes Across the Floor" is not only an excellent song, but in a decade where video played as much of a roll as the music itself the accompanying video was a fresh and creative take of the genre. Youtube it – it's a fun view. Plus, the tune features a flute in the very distant background. A FLUTE! I don't think we would have seen Limp Bizkit use a flute. I would have loved to have seen what may have been had Shannon Hoon not passed away too soon.

  5. Chris says:

    Maybe it's a guilty pleasure of mine, but I've always liked PUSA. Otherwise this list is pretty much dead on.

    I HAD forgotten about that Kid song, until now. Boy did it come back and haunt me quickly. Who knew we'd have to suffer with that auto tune sounding crap from nearly every pop artist nearly 20 years later.

  6. Kyle says:

    Great list other than Blind Melon being on there. It scares me that I have albums by five of the bands on that list…and I still pull them out from time to time. Isn't nostalgia grand?

  7. Shay from Israel says:

    C'mon Alan, worst 90's band list cannot be complete without Aqua who sold over 30 millions albums, Hanson and The Bloodhound Gang!

    Spice Girls gets a bye because they were a dominant pop act.
    I would exclude Nickelback 'cause their rise came in the 00's.

  8. Didymus Henley says:

    I totally forgot about Serial Joe, boy did they ever suck

  9. Tooks says:

    Blind Melon should definitely NOT be on this list. I must say i was quite surprised to see them on the list and im not quite sure why. One band that should be on the list: Weezer. Wasn't it Weezer fans that eventually tried to pay the band to stop making music? That's even worse than suing them.
    Also Smashing Pumpkins. It probably has something to do with the visceral reaction I have whenever I hear Billy Corgan interviews from back then (and most current ones as well). Could he be more of a pretentious asshole? I never understood how he became famous. He's a total dick.

    • Noodles says:

      Your are a douche for thinking weezer deserves to be on here and a double douche for thinking smashing pumpkins! Obviously the guy who tried to raise 10 million for weezer not to perform again is not a fan. If your wondering how much has been raised, its less than hundred dollars.

  10. John Guzowski says:

    This list is pretty decent. I don’t know about having either Ace of Base or the Vengaboys on it- it’s just a statement that what works in Europe doesn’t mean it works here. You were right to put Blind Melon on this list because they are a microcosm of everything that was wrong about the music of the 90’s even though they appear to have some talent. One band that should be on this list is Hole. The reason this band got noticed was not because of their music, but Courtney Love’s relationship with Kurt Cobain. Even more than a decade later if something is written about Hole, Kurt Cobain is still name dropped and he was never even part of the band. Courtney Love is the Yoko Ono of the 90’s.

    • Music lover says:

      lol funny stuff…a buddy of mine and I won tickets to see Hole and a couple other bands. There were a few chick friends of ours who wanted to go see Hole. “We love Courtney.” lol
      Well, needless to say, the smell of hot chicks lured us to the show lol.
      Hole was pretty bad, live. Courtney couldn’t put down her cigarettes long enough to play the damn guitar she kept hanging on her for the entire show while barely touching it lol.

      I will say this…we discovered some amazing bands. The opening acts were Foxy Shazam and a couple other pretty baddass performances. Glad I went. Courtney Love’s crappy performance actually got me laid haha.

  11. sparkytwentytwo says:

    Poor showing with Blind Melon and PUSA on this list – One band missing the Canadian band Moist to this list – Still one of the worst bands ever to come out of that period in music and the video is still as lame as the first time I saw it

    http://youtu.be/epjHEGRlWkk

  12. Music lover says:

    …Perception… That is all it boils down to. I like Kid Rocks first album and about half of his second. Only God Knows Why actually got me through some difficult times. I love that song. I actually love Creeds first album and about half of their second lol. What’s This Life For got me through some problems. TPotUSA … Lump was just plain fun lol, I don’t like anything else that band put out. Vengaboys…dafuq did I just get submitted to? lol Ace of Base had a few cool tunes. I actually used to bowl to The Sign and a couple other tunes of theirs. Memories lol. I never was a Blind Melon fan, but I can see the craze over them. Other bands, I never even heard of.
    BTW…Nickelback…I liked their second Canadian album and their first 2 US albums…their 3rd US album was good for what it was, but once I noticed they started repeating themselves, I gave up lol. Agreed…they get worse and worse through time.

  13. Srini says:

    Poop stains!!! That was a band, amirite?

    Nirvana was amazing. Saw them 3 times. So amazing.

    We hated Stone Temple Pilots and Bush back then, but nowadays they sound ok compared to the shit that comes out these days

    We dug Neurosis, Unwound, Scared of Chaka

  14. Joe says:

    Presidents of the USA did not suck.

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